Writers: Lim Fang Min & Benjamin Lim
Editor: Benjamin Lim
With the weapon of the mass media, countless unarmed conflicts have been fought over the maintenance of this prominent portion of the human anatomy 
Few of the many belligerents of this bloodless war have enjoyed strings of victories, winning many followers through clever strategising, while others have fought on their own unique terms to secure small but fiercely loyal supporters. Yes, if you haven’t got it by now, it is the war of the Shampoo brands! Indeed, what are the 3 brands that have KE guys enraptured in the act of scratching their scalp?
The premise was simple: most residents leave their shampoos in the toilet. What better way to find the answer than to have a look in these soapy places? So, on a fateful Wednesday morning, 1 reporter driven by his curiousity on this fascinating subject took up the arduous task of visiting all the male toilets in KE to investigate. Following countless stares and stairs, we are proud to bring you the results you have all been waiting for; the 3 most popular brands of shampoo are *cue drumroll* Clear, Dove and Head & Shoulders!
Our shampoo critic!
To get an idea of why these brands were so popular, we had avid shampoo user Terence from block C to give his verdict on each of these shampoos. A fan of Clairol’s Herbal Essences because of its great refreshing scent, Terence would be a tough critic to please.
The reigning champion! or not...
Clear, undisputedly the most popular shampoo in KE did not really appeal to Terence, who said it smelt like Dynamo (the washing detergent). The writer (who uses Clear himself) postulates that perhaps, most guys like to smell homogenous with their clothes.
As soft as it claims to be?
Dove, the runners-up had never been tried by Terence before, in fact, he was rather surprised that it made the top 3 spot since it was a pretty late entry into the Shampoo battle. Still, it seemed to have garnered quite a following among male KEVIIANs, suggesting that the alluring claims it makes for its shampoo (undoubtedly modeled on those that have made its shower foam so successful) seems to have some measure of truth, allowing them to capture the hearts and heads of many here.
2nd runners up...for a good reason
Terence reserved his harshest criticism for Head & Shoulders, which came in a close third to Dove. Contrary to its long touted claim of reduced dandruff, Terence found that his dandruff actually increased when he last used it. According to him, the entire scalp comes off in a classic “Christmas coming early” effect. The relative popularity could then be explained by a strong desire among KEVIIANs to re-create a cool snowy climate here in warm Singapore.
The dark horse (or man)...literally
Now, you may wonder whether our shampoo critic even has anything positive to say about brands other than the one he uses. Curiously enough, Terence gave his stamp of approval for the relatively uncommon Jackie Chan-endorsed Ba Wang when he had the opportunity to try it for himself.
From doubt...To delight!
The reporters felt that it would be terribly inadequate to represent the interview conducted with him simply in words, so they have instead included the actual interview footage for your viewing pleasure below.
For some obscure reason, substantial similarities were noticed between this interview and the one below it featuring Jackie Chan. Barring the very fundamental difference of language, we believe that the similarity of opinion can only mean that Ba Wang has a universal appeal that transcends language and cultural boundaries leading users to profess similar testimonies of the superiority of the product.
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